I have been meaning to write multiple times the past month and a half, I have even started about 5 new articles but just didn’t get the chance to finish them.
A lot of my work craziness has died down and thought this would be a good time to write. Not just for that reason but also for another reason…
I have been seeing this girl for about a month now and things have been pretty good.
What Did You Just Say?!
Now every time I saw her I thought things went great and it sure seemed like she had a great time as well. The past week she felt a little more distant which I knew something was going on. So I asked her if she was into this relationship and that it didn’t seem like she was into it except for when we were in person(only saw each other once a week). She calls me about 4 hours later and tells me that there is just “something” not clicking. After she said that I basically just stopped listening and I knew this was not good. We said our goodbyes and that was that. I wasn’t about to try and argue or defend or plead with her that she wasn’t making the right decision.
The Question I Keep Asking Myself
Even before this happened when friends asked me if I liked her, I didn’t really know what to say. I would something like this ” I like her don’t get me wrong but I don’t know”. I guess the question I kept asking myself while seeing her was if I was going to marry her, could I spend the rest of my life with her (Should I even be asking myself these questions so early on in a relationship)?
I don’t think I could really see myself marrying her but I kept telling myself it was early on, I didn’t really know her that well and just to see what happens. Well she ended things before I could really figure that one out.
The question I am asking myself is if I am EVER going to find someone! Just kidding… Kind of that is… But the real question I am asking myself is when do you know that this is the person I could marry? Is there a feeling, is it over time? I guess I am just confused because I don’t think I have ever come close to that with a girl. I have thought about marriage with certain girls, but I have never felt confident in marrying someone. Shouldn’t you feel confident in wanting to marry that person?
I am waiting for this moment in time when it is almost an “ah hah” moment with a girl…. Am I waiting for something that will never come?