I honestly don’t know what it is with this woman that just drives me to her, that makes me want to be around her all the time, and just makes me comfortable when I am around her. I honestly wish I didn’t feel any of those feelings for her but at the same time I haven’t felt this way for a girl in a while now. It feels good to have those feelings again.
I have been casually seeing this woman now for about 6 months. It has been on and off during those six months and I have been trying not to get too attached to her since obviously it won’t be able to work out. The last month I haven’t been able to get her out of my mind, I continuously keep texting her, talking to her and seeing her. Well there is a minor problem(s)……
She is 13 YEARS OLDER THAN ME!!!
We are basically just torching ourselves because we both know it is not going to work out, I mean she is 13 years older than me(that is really weird looking at that age gap)! On top of that she has two kids, both whom I have not met, and I know I probably should not ever meet.
I have gone through all the situations of how could this work from…
- Could I support her and her two kids
- What would my parents think
- What would her parents think
- Financially could it work
And I keep coming back with the same answer THERE IS NO WAY THIS CAN WORK! It is time to pull the plug on this so called relationship.
It Has Ended
It only took 6 months of seeing her to finally end things with her and to be quite honest I wasn’t going to end things, she ended things and I agreed it probably was for the best. Now I have told myself throughout this whole semi relationship that I wasn’t going to get emotionally invested… Well after we ended things, it was pretty obvious that wasn’t the case. It felt like I broke up with someone I was dating for years and years. It was honestly one of the weirdest things I have experienced in myself. She has many things going on in her life right now and for some reason I still had a connection with her that I have NEVER had with any other woman I have ever dated.
A couple of my friends, myself included, have told me “why are you wasting your time with someone you know you won’t marry”. And they are right it is pretty stupid to be emotionally involved with someone that I knew I wasn’t going to be with long term. For all the reasons why it wasn’t going to work, there was just some type of connection between us I can’t describe.
She texted me this the other day and I could not have agreed more… ” I wouldn’t have changed or wanted to miss any of it”
I have To Take Something Out Of This Whole Thing Right?
What she has done to me in regards to what I am looking for in a woman has elevated my standards and has made me NOT want to settle for anything anymore. Knowing there are woman out there like this only wants me to find that person even more. I have to take a positive out of our relationship right?! I am actually truly excited to find this person now, I really think the last girlfriend I had really put a sour taste in my mouth regarding relationships, especially because I thought I really liked her and I was really thinking if I should marry her?! I don’t know if it was necessarily her but it had more to do with me thinking how serious it could be. I was settling for something I didn’t really want because I thought I had to.
It almost feels like I have been cleansed from my horrible views of marriage and relationships, it is nice to know the potential of what I could have now!