What 3 pieces of advice would you give to other mothers of multiples?
Casey: Gerwer Quads
1. Do everything you can to try to get some one on one time with your kids! While I dish out this advice, I struggle to always do it. It’s tough, there is one of you and a million of them (okay not that many but it feels like it). I carry a lot of guilt that I don’t get a lot of one on one time with my kiddos. But you have to try to find it. Take advantage when you can!
2. If you’re offered help, TAKE IT! I am not one to ask for help, never have been. I struggled big time letting go of some control when my kids were born but I was a better mama when I did have some help. I couldn’t do everything. We are super moms, yes, but we aren’t super human. You have to sleep and eat and the house doesn’t clean itself (grrrrr, that Jane Jetson, so jealous). Your family and friends love you and are offering help because they genuinely want to give it. Take them up on it, even if it’s just to sit next to sleeping babies so you can shower for 5 minutes.
3. Try to take judgment with a grain of salt. There are a lot of great people out there that say super nice things about your kids and how amazing you are. But unfortunately, there are people out there that aren’t that way. Some people are judgmental and pry and ask inappropriate questions. Don’t take it personally, nod and smile. Perhaps they are just jealous :).
Gen: McNulty Quads
1. Laugh, a lot. Don’t ever lose your sense of humor, it’s your best tool for survival!
2. Don’t sweat the small stuff, SERIOUSLY, not worth it.
3. What works for one of your babies may not work for the other(s). Always remember they are individuals. Make a point to spend one on one time with each child as often as you can- this gets MUCH easier as they get older.
4. Sorry, I know you said 3 but I have to add just one more. FRIENDS. Make friends with other moms in a similar situation. They will save your sanity and you will save theirs.
1. Quit Comparing – you can’t compare your multiples to another full-term singleton friend’s baby. It’s a whole different ballgame.
2. Be Confident – God gave you these babies for a reason – YOU are their mother and YOU know them better than anyone on the planet. Don’t for a second doubt your instincts and your abilities.
3. Cut Your Self Some Slack – Make that A LOT of slack. While you might appear to be Supermom from the outside, you can’t do it all. Be okay with admitting that you need help and be specific with your requests. Be willing to change your expectations for yourself as a mother.
Suzanne: Steece’s Pieces
Well, for any parent really:
1. Focus on your marriage first and foremost…understand that you are bringing children into YOUR, already established family. Don’t center your lives around your children or you will wake up one day, 18 years later, when your kids have moved out of the house and look at your partner and say, “who are you? Have we met?” lol.
2. Find a support system of other women who are going through the same situation. I don’t know what i would do without my other quad mom best friends. We laugh together, cry together, vent together….we can completely relate to what each other are going through and it is so incredibly refreshing.
3. Laugh. When you want to cry and can’t think of anything that would make the day worse than it already is…find something to laugh about. Don’t take yourself or life so seriously. Sure we are all gonna mess up at times, we are human….but try to maintain a positive attitude, laugh at the ridiculous situations, and don’t sweat the small stuff!
Quadathon Q&A 2011
Question 1: Toughest Year
Question 3: Financial Advice
Question 4: How To Calm the Storm Down
Question 5: Is Your Blog A Stress Reliever
Question 8& 9: More Kids?
Question 10 & 11: Advice About Marriage
Go to the link and all you have to do is comment on the post to be entered into the drawing!
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