Picking the perfect name for your child can be a very challenging task. You may want to choose a name that is time-tested, a classic. Perhaps, there’s a family name that you want to pass down. Or, you may opt for something a little different that encapsulates a moment, place, feeling, or characteristic that you wish to bestow upon your little one.
However, if you’re a celebrity (or have aspirations of becoming one someday) you may go a different route. It seems that, ahem, “unique” names are all the rage in Hollywood today. Whether the inspiration comes from the ingredients of a bottle of body spray (i.e. Bob Geldof and Paula Yates’ daughter, Peaches Honeyblossom) or a music production brochure (Audio Science, son of Shannyn Sossamon and Dallas Clayton) the possibilities appear to be endless. In fact, this list had to be edited several times to keep it at a readable length.
Alas, without further ado I give you my take on the most “different” celebrity names.
Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen Zappa
The youngest of Frank Zappa’s four children (Siblings: Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan), Diva Thin Muffin, is a celebrity in her own right. She has acted in various movies and television shows. Still, her name brings to mind a high-maintenance, low-cal pastry or maybe a skinny muffin that can hit high notes.
At first glance, Nicholas Cage’s son’s name doesn’t seem too bad. Sure, it’s unique, but it kind of has a nice ring to it. Further inspection reveals, however, that Nick Cage stole the name from a famous superhero. Can you guess which one? Kal-El was the birth name of Superman a.k.a. Clark Kent. Maybe the reason Superman spent so much time in the phone booth was to see if anyone else actually shared his Kryptonian name.
Born Nicholas Coppola, (yes, as in Francis Ford Coppola) the actor changed his last name to avoid criticism that his career was based on paternalism. “Cage” comes from another comic book hero, Luke Cage.
Sage Moonblood Stallone
I know movies are supposed to be fake, but maybe old Sly accidentally got a few screws knocked loose during the filming of the Rocky Quintilogy (Yes, I made that word up). Don’t get me wrong, I think that Sage is a nice name. It has a certain ring to it and I’m digging the alliteration, but there is something a little off about the Moonblood part. That, coupled with the fact that Sylvester’s three daughters are named Sistine Rose, Scarlett Rose, and Sophia Rose Stallone makes me wonder a little. I guess first names come easy to the Rambo star. It’s the middle names that are the hard part.
Moxie CrimeFighter Jillette
My spell check is beginning to hate me right now. Yes, Mr. Paperclip, I’m sure I meant “Moxie CrimeFighter”!
Anyway, the more vocal half of the comedy/magic duo, Penn and Teller, Penn Jillette, decided for something a little, we’ll call it, “unconventional” when deciding on a name for his daughter. Who knows, maybe Moxie and Kal-El Cage can get together and form some sort of crime fighting, superhero club (Eh, probably just wishful thinking).
When Penn isn’t busy naming little girls strange things, he can be found doing the same for little boys (enter Zolten Penn Jillette, Moxie’s older brother).
In related news, there is a rumor circulating that Teller is considering naming his next child “ “.
Pilot Inspektor Lee
Where to begin, where to begin? Jason Lee, star of “My Name Is Earl”, seems to have an affinity for both aviation and misspelling. This one leaves me scratching my head a little bit. Is it supposed to be a pilot that inspects- err, excuse me- inspekts things or someone who inspekts pilots? Either way, I’m not getting anywhere near that plane!
All Four of Paula Yates’ Daughters
Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, Little Pixie, and Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily (Not to be confused with Roger Taylor and Deborah Leng’s daughter who’s just plain Tiger Lily). Need I say more? Who am I kidding? I can’t help myself.
Is it just me, or does anyone else get the feeling that Paula Yates’ naming technique involved a dog show held at a Bath and Body Works store? I know that sounds mean, and I’m sure all of her daughters are beautiful, remarkable young women, but somehow I feel like Mrs. Yates didn’t get the memo that states that names tend to stay with you for a VERY LONG time. Like, until you are old enough to go to school with other kids long or when you have to start applying for jobs long.
The thing I can’t get out of my head is that moment when you first introduce your child’s name to family and friends. You know there is at least some level of apprehension, hoping that they will like the name you’ve chosen. Picture being in the family/friend position and someone says to you, “These are my daughters, Fifi Trixibelle…”. If anyone has a good way to respond to that, please let me know. It might come in handy someday.
Prince Michael II a.k.a. Blanket Jackson
I suppose it’s only befitting that the kind of pop would name his son Prince Michael Joseph Jackson Jr. But twice?! I feel like it says a lot about a parent when they have to recycle “Prince [Insert Parent Name Here]”. I guess it’s good that he wasn’t showing favoritism and didn’t go with Earl or Duke Michael. Still, I think the numbering system is a little off-putting. How would you like to be “[Your Name]” II? Perhaps even stranger, Prince Michael II is referred to as “Blanket”. Now I’m not an expert on royal lineage, but I can’t help but think that Blanket is a few notches down from Prince.
The icing on the cake- the late king of pop’s daughter’s name is Paris-Michael Katherine Jackson. It turns out this is a great way to help identify your kids. Just name them all after you and become an infamous pop culture icon. Oh, that’s actually a good segway into the next item on my list…
George Foreman’s George Foremans
What, you ask, does this mean? Oh, don’t you worry, I’ll tell you! George Foreman, famous for being both a boxing and indoor grilling legend, has ten kids- five boys and five girls. If you think naming one child is hard, imagine ten! Well, it turns out it’s not so bad. Just ask Mr. Foreman who named all five of his sons George Foreman. There’s George Jr., George III, George IV, George V, and George VI. If that isn’t confusing (or narcissistic) enough he also named two of his daughters Freeda George, and Georgetta.
I grew up with the same first name as my dad and there were definitely times when that would be the cause of confusion. For example, if someone called the house it was often asked which “Edward” they wished to speak to. But how exactly does that work in the Foreman household? All I can say is thank goodness for cell phones! That, or they better have their own lines.
Rufus Tiger (son), Tiger Lily (daughter), Lola Daisy (daughter)
Parents: Roger Taylor and Deborah Leng
Rocket Valentin (son), Racer Maximilliano (son), Rebel Antonio (son), Rogue (son), Rhiannon (daughter)
Parents: Robert Rodriguez and Elizabeth Avellan
Poppy Honey (daughter), Daisy Boo (daughter)
Parents: Jamie Oliver and Jools Oliver
Tu Simone Ayer (daughter)
Parents: Rob Morrow and Debbon Ayer (as in Tu Morrow)
Hud (son), Spec Wildhorse (son)
Parents: John Cougar Mellencamp and Elaine Irwin
Banjo Patrick (son)
Parents: Rachel Griffiths and Andrew Taylor
Parent: Jermaine Jackson
Parents: Mia Farrow & Woody Allen